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"No! Please, No!!! Not another apple! Somebody stop
them!...Help!...Mmffff!"
In 1845 Griselda "Granny" Smith coined the adage, "An apple
a day keeps the doctor away," opening the floodgates of
misguided kindness across the Civilised World.
One notoriously deluded group of philanthropic women with
nothing better to do, calling themselves The Fair Ladies Of
The Apple, struck terror into the hearts of sick people
wherever they made an appearance.
Taking the adage to its illogical extreme, their philosophy
was, "You can never have too many apples," and with ruinous
kindheartedness they would force-feed apples to the lame and
the infirm.
Ninety-seven percent died.

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